Saturday 17 April 2010

THE EXIT

THE EXIT
Dammam Bala


The departure

“You have 24 earth hours to leave this place” said Master is his soft silky voice.
“24.. WHAT? EARTH hours..? What is that new thing in the heaven?” I was getting little nervous while I asked that question to Master.

“THAT is your NEW destination. You will have a new name, new family and new assignment too. Don’t worry about it; I will be with you all the time. The only difference is you can’t see me or talk to me like this for some time”

Master… I am not feeling comfortable to leave this place. I have no idea of my new home. Can I carry some of my favorable items with me? I guess they will come to my rescue?!

“No. You can’t even carry your thoughts and memories* with you! Our teleportation requirements are very stringent and you need to off-load as much you can and stay the lightest. Memories will make you feel heavier and severely interfere your performance in the new place. It is better for you not to carry them along”

That was the last thing that I could clearly recollect. In no time, I was moving across the worlds if not universes, at a lightening speed that much exceeded the ‘speed of thoughts’, I crossed a main gate, before I could see what was written there, I lost my conscious fully!

The Arrival

“Mr. Gurusamy… CONGRATS! You wife has delivered a healthy baby boy! You can go and see them both. They are perfectly fine. BTW, there was only a small problem; the boy doesn’t even know how to suckle! I guess he is too innocent and delicate. He will need your nurturing and protection a lot.” – Location Bhopal, Madhya Pradesh India, PLANET EARTH!

From the conversation between the doctor and nurses I came to know that I was the first child for my parents, Mr. Gurusamy and Mrs. Sarojini. I tried to join their talk, but something in me prevented me from doing so. I was not aware, that I was too young to talk then!

The word

World was full of words, to start with. I was sleeping most of the time. In between I cried a lot and made crazy sounds to get my mom’s attention and subsequently the milk. My vocabulary kept increasing day by day with Inga, Amma, Appa and by this time I was even responding to calls “Mani” like a trained pet dog, later to realize that my actual name was Balasubramanian, when I was admitted in school.

One day, my dad took me and my mom to a strange place. From outside view it was like a big hall with sloped roof. People were standing in a queue and we joined them. We went through narrow and winding corridors and collected few slips with a counter foil against exchange of a few rupees. We then proceeded to the hall through a gate, where the person tore the slips, returned the counter foils to us and let us into the big hall.

When we settled into our seats, I could notice the doors being closed and lights getting switched off. A strange feeling and fear started gripping me and I was just about to cry aloud. My dad then gently touched my shoulder and whispered into my ears. “Mani, we are in a cinema theatre; just don’t panic”. The screen in front of was big, wide and white too like my dad’s dhoti. Soon, colorful images started filling the silver screen.

More than the screen, I was fascinated by the doors. Though they were closed, they were easy to recognize and they had some thing written on them and back lit in red color. My school had taught me how to read alphabets. I read them one by one.. E…X…I…T… yes… EXIT!

Though it was the first time I came across the word, it sounded very familiar to me as if I have heard of it even before my birth. Also I wasn’t aware that word would keep appearing now and then in different colors and different denominations.

Re entry of Exit

While I kept entering and exiting different stages of life through schools and college, the word exit was not explicit except the election times and so called exit polls. It was in my thirties, it re-entered my life and it was exactly when I entered Saudi Arabia as an ex-pat worker.

We Indians are familiar with government as well as private sector jobs. However even in private, the hire and fire is not common considering the fact that we are professionally qualified. The so called ‘job security’ is taken for granted in our place. But this mindset takes a big blow when we happen to work in Gulf. The job becomes contract based and subject to renewal every year.

At the end of yearly or bi-annual contract, if company stamps ‘exit and re-entry’ in the passport, you can be a guest in home country and return to make more riyals. It is all short time gain, redefining life styles and re-writing proverbs as ‘make money, while moon shines’

Initial jump in financial status, brings in more expectations and more commitments. Vacations become vicious spending trips to return to Gulf empty handed, to re-charge the wallets for future drain. With this situation, there is always a constant threat on ex-pat employee in the form of our famous word… EXIT. If the company is not satisfied with him, he can be sent on exit; never to return and never to dig the mine of fortune. I still remember very vividly how my colleague who joined my company along with me was sent on exit, within six months period, jeopardizing his life plans for ever!

Having come to Saudi with a short term plan of a year or two, people keep extending it indefinitely by bringing family in, putting kids in school and continue to live in the ‘Trisangu sorgam’ I was no exception to this. Five years passed, Ten years and finally Fifteen years went like this. There came the change in the form of Vietnam offer.

The office, home, friends, toastmasters, familiar roads, shops, hospitals and super-markets all were to be forgotten once for all; never to visit again. Fifteen days were enough to demagnetize the bond that took fifteen years to build. Mind knows very well that middle-east is not home land and one day, return to India is imminent. But the heart finds it difficult to believe that fact.

What makes this desert attracting our co-camels and keeps them glued to its invisible tentacles? I don’t know really. Is it the known devil is better than unknown angel concept? It could be so. Venkat and co from Dubai may have better answers.

The fact that I tried to evade exit might have held me so long in Saudi I guess. Once I decided to quit, things were moving fast. Fair well parties from toastmasters, followed by tamil groups, telugu groups and kerala groups of the company reminded the roots that have set in without my notice and realization so far.

When I was travelling back to Dammam airport, with my wife and kids, I felt as if the buildings were looking at me, with a mischievous smile and shouting…”Hey, you are not going to see us again! A sense of vacuum instantaneously filled my mind with emptiness. I was fiddling with my mobile phone and when I tried to close and application, it was asking me, ‘do you want to exit?’ I was telling no to myself and yes to the phone as my only choice of the moment!


Enter the Dragon

Now that Radhika and kids are at Chennai and trying to settle back, I here in Hanoi. Like a full grown date tree moved over night from one place to another, I feel plucked and planted into the new set-up. Life has changed for ever. The people around, the environment, the attire, the accent and the approach all look different. (From burka to bikini..)


I am back in the forum to read Sumathi’s moral stories, Ashok’s Silver Streak contribution updates, Pandy’s punch dialogues and many other interesting things that take place in our PSG planet. It is good to see Swarna back in the forum, at the same time we do share her worry related to her husband’s slip disc. Let us hope and pray that things clear up with her like passing clouds and she returns back to her usual major general status.


Slowly but steadily I am trying to gel with my new transit home. Like the feel of facing outside world after a matinee show in a theatre, one chapter is over and another has just began in my life. I have lot of pleasant memories with me that I have collected in Saudi Arabia. I begin to realize that every EXIT is nothing but an ENTRANCE to a new world of adventures and opportunities. Hope you do agree with me, folks.

Cheers
Bala G(ates of happiness always open from inside :-)

PS 1: The intelligent ones among you (most of you in deed are) may question my memory retention contradictory to Master’s words. In fact this missing link was established during one of my recent dreams. If you need further clarification on this, you are welcome to join me in my future dreams.

PS 2: Just while I am posting this piece of writing in the group, the sad news of our friend Shanmuga sundaram’s untimely demise is in the air. I do pray for his soul to rest in peace and condolences to his family too. I would like to know more details about this and share the grief with you all.

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